Saturday, March 16, 2024

My (Nearly) Pain-Free Birth Story of Glory

Before I share Glory's birth story, I feel it's important to add the disclaimer that I in no way judge any mother for how they choose to or had to give birth.  I myself had an induced, medicated hospital birth with my first baby that was beautiful. While if I had the chance to go back and do it again, I would make different decisions for myself, what I learned from that first birth (and each subsequent birth) was invaluable. 
Being a fairly modest person, I appreciate your discretion in seeing these photos and where you view them and whom you share them with.  
Dr. Teri Mitchell with BundleBorn Midwifery was my patient, informative, caring midwife once again.  Erin Stetson with Erin Beth Birth Photography was the one who captured these stunning images. Rebekah Lewis (now a midwife herself and my doula for two previous births) arrived to help as the birth assistant.


Where a new passion has stirred in me is that all moms and dads should be fully informed about their birth options, their risks and benefits, and their rights in making those choices.  Parents should be empowered to ask questions, to listen to their gut and not feel guilty in changing providers if they feel the need. 

I'm hoping in sharing my story (especially as a 43-year old) that I'm showing at the very least my three boys and baby girl how God offers us a special piece of Him that we can access during pregnancy and birth if we will trust and lean in. The positive ripple effect my births will have on their spouses and even my grandchildren is encouraging. 

My positive birth experiences have turned me into an advocate of midwifery care, and specifically the benefits of homebirth.  So, my prayer is regardless of how you choose to birth, or have given birth in the past, that my story will give you a different perspective and may open your eyes to alternative and safe ways to deliver babies. (well, not really alternative...I mean birthing naturally at home has been common for centuries up until the last hundred years or so) 


A healthy baby and healthy mom are definitely the ultimate goals for labor and delivery. But, I do not think it unreasonable to also desire an empowering, dream birth.  We all know parts of birth and labor can be unpredictable and sometimes pivoting is inevitable. 
 I've heard people say homebirth is "irresponsible", "dangerous", and even "selfish".  That the only thing you should be worried about is a safe delivery and healthy baby.  If so, then is a non-medical induction selfish?  (I can ask that because I've had one).  Is a doctor scheduling a c-section because a mom's due date is around Christmas or there's a chance the baby may be big "irresponsible"? 
 
I've pondered for months if and when and how I should share Glory's story. Mainly, because it is so very personal. Even Mary "treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart" (Luke 2:19) after giving birth to Jesus (and I assume riding on a donkey full-term and delivering Jesus in a stable weren't a part of her original birth plan, even though it was God's perfect birth plan).   If I was going to share, it would only be to display God's glory woven in all the details.  

Birth is an intersection between vulnerability, intimacy, strength,  and beauty.  Pushing the vulnerable portion aside, I have felt that I needed to share the intimacy, strength, and beauty of God's hand in my pregnancy, preparation, and birthing day.  
                     The boys checking up on baby with Dad and I.
         Having them experience my pregnancy at an older age was the biggest unexpected blessing. 
The wallpaper in BundleBorn's office bathroom. How could you not enjoy seeing this at each appt?

So much of Glory's birth story starts back at the beginning of pregnancy.  Having a midwife I trust and a husband on board for another home birth was first and foremost.  So many other factors played a part in me being able to having another successful homebirth, and this time at the age of 43 (yes, you read that right...I've learned over the last year to be very proud of my title as an older mom).

Prayer and worship throughout my pregnancy formed into such a habit that when labor hit and got hard, I was able to fall back on Truth instead of fear.  Having a nearly pain-free birth was not just about focusing on what I'd do during those two hours of labor I experienced.  For months, it was about praying daily, seeking God in my insecurities, learning more of His design for labor and birth, and relinquishing any fears I may have had by digging into His word. 

Some factors that  helped me have the birth I desired....
-continuing workouts with FIT4MOM and modifying as needed.
-taking the supplements that Dr. Teri recommeded. Especially things that would help prevent hemorrhaging at birth, prevent high blood pressure, and build my overall health and the health of my baby.  (ask your provider-what can you be doing or taking NOW to help prevent issues such as preeclampsia, low iron, etc.  If your provider isn't going over those things with you early on, they should be)
-eating so much protein!
-adding electrolytes to my water
-Christian Healthcare Ministries (such a blessing for our form of healthcare)
-talking to the boys about birth, what they might see or hear (if they chose to be close by during labor) and answering any questions they may have




...and the biggest factor in having the birth I'd been hoping for:
-praying, praying, praying and really diving deep this pregnancy into the idea of 'pain-free birth', the curse on Eve and childbirth and how Jesus redeemed us from that original sin, and meditating on Bible verses that celebrated God's love and power over our fears. Dr. Teri told me about the book "Supernatural Childbirth" by Jackie Mize.  While I didn't agree with 100% of everything, it did open my eyes to God's design for birth and praying through pregnancy. I believe so much of my nearly pain-free birth is from reading this book and my focused prayers. 

And...some bonus things I thought about before having another baby at home:

-hiring a birth photographer again.  This was such a huge investment for us, and I chose to hire Erin instead of paying for a doula this time. It was definitely the best choice for us.
-getting the boys pajamas that somewhat matched. I knew we'd keep these photos for a long time, so I was mindful of what they'd wear when the baby was born.
-creating a labor playlist.  Funny, I don't remember any of the songs that were playing while I gave birth.  But, I listened to that playlist for months before she was born. Most of the songs were worship songs and helped calm any anxieties I had about this baby.  Those songs helped get me into a meditative state during contractions. 
-printing out birth affirmations to have hung in my room, letting the boys create encouraging pictures for me to hang that day



Now to the good stuff....
Two days before having Glory (a Thursday), I had my 40-week appointment with Dr. Teri.  Cooper couldn't attend that appointment with me, so it was just me that day.  For the prior month, I had so many Braxton-Hicks contractions.  One of the foundations of pain-free birth is when you have contractions, really focusing on what the contractions are accomplishing in your body...so even with these Braxton-Hicks, I could tell that many of them were opening my cervix.  In fact, at the 40-week appointment, I told Dr. Teri I felt I was at least 5-6 cm dilated.  

We know I have really fast births. (If you don't know, my second son was born accidentally at home he came so fast).  Combine the fact that I knew I was very dilated and that Dr. Teri had several other clients who were expected to give birth around the same time I was, we decided to let her check and see if I was actually as dilated as I thought.  (I was almost 6 cm dilated.)  Normally, I wouldn't have wanted to be checked (to some it is considered an intervention), and looking back I'd wished I'd just trusted my gut and not been checked.  Hindsight is 20/20.  And, for a lot of moms, having cervical checks or sonograms at the end of pregnancy creates more anxiety and stress.  

Dr. Teri and I discussed the fact that there was a high chance she could be at another birth when I go into labor, or she may not make it to me in time (she lived almost an hour away).  She offered to come by my house on Saturday morning and break my waters to kick-start my labor and so she'd be nearby. It wasn't a sure thing (and I knew I needed time to see how I felt and think things over), and she told me to check in with her often over the next few days.  Other than that, we discussed my family having a relaxing dinner Friday, going for a walk, and me just enjoying the time the next few days before going into labor.


Friday came (I did make it to work out that morning), and I texted Cooper that afternoon that something felt "off".  He came home right away.  As we sat in the car to pick up the kids, I told him that I felt so uneasy about having my waters be broken. 

I knew I didn't want any interventions, and I'd been praying so fervently that God would let me know when I was going to have this baby so Dr. Teri could make it in time.  I knew that having my waters broken was not in my plan and I felt very convicted about telling Dr. Teri that I wanted to go into labor as naturally as possible.  She was very supportive of that decision, and I think trusting my gut and sharing my decision was one thing that kick-started labor. 
I'm not sure why in the moment it was so hard for me to express to her and Cooper how I didn't want any interventions to start labor, but makes me realize how if I were in a hospital setting I likely wouldn't have had the time or support or voice to make the decision that was right for me.

Friday night we go to dinner and for a family walk.



I go to bed Friday night...
3:30 am-I wake up knowing something is off.  I think I've either leaked or my water has broken or something. Rush to the bathroom and realize I've lost my mucus plug and start having mild contractions (notice that answered prayer? I'd been praying God would let me know without a doubt I was in labor...and He even woke me in the middle of the night to let me know it was time).
4:00 am-Contractions continue. I call Teri and she is on her way and will contact Erin.
4:10 am-Wake Cooper. Double make the bed (a homebirth hack where you put good sheets on bottom, shower curtain on top, and then another layer of sheets that aren't your favorite). I decide to shower, wash my hair and get ready a bit. The boys were asleep and getting ready distracted me from my contractions.
4:20-5:00 am-Contractions mild but every 2-3 minutes. I find myself leaning on the bathroom counter during them. 
5:10 am-Teri arrives.  I'm talking, laughing, but occasionally have to stop and lean over during a contraction. 

5:15-6:00 am-Erin arrives during this window. Contractions still every few minutes and are getting stronger.  But, I can feel each one working to open my cervix and bring baby down the birth canal. I'd never experienced contractions like that before...instead of feeling pain, I felt their purpose. 


Despite doing everything possible to be Strep B negative, I was Strep B positive, and ended up getting antibiotics during this time. If I had to do it over again, I'd probably do more research in this area and look at risks/benefits. Getting the antibiotics was the most painful part of the whole experience for some reason. Conway woke up just as I was getting the needle in my arm; he was very supportive! 

I started using a comb in my hand for pain management (look it up-it really helps manage the pain). It was one of those things I said I was going to do, but then in the moment, completely forgot about it until Cooper mentioned it.  Teri is monitoring the baby's heart rate every few minutes and monitoring me. 

6:00-6:10-Contractions getting stronger.  Groaning through a few.  The only position that felt good was leaning over my bed.  They were intense, but never painful.  I could tell they were getting baby ready. Cooper says later that I was in almost a meditative state. My labor playlist was in the background, the lights were dim and I was headed into the state where my only focus was on me and the baby and breathing through the contractions.


6:19-Soon after a contraction, I tell everyone in the room that my water is about to break. It was amazing to feel exactly what my body was doing and accomplishing during each contraction.  The pain I'd felt in previous births wasn't pain this time.  It turned into purposeful pressure with Glory.  It was if each time I had a contraction, I could visualize how that surge was bringing her down, or opening my cervix, or in this case, about to make my water break.  Dr. Teri asks for permission to remove my undies. There was no way I could have done that without assistance. Sure enough, soon after I said that, it broke.  

The rhombus shape on my lower back is called the Rhombus of Michaelis.  It includes the lower vertebrae and essentially moves backwards to give the baby space to move through the pelvis.  A tell-tale sign that baby is moving and delivery is close. 


6:15-6:21-Transition. The last few minutes, I could feel her crowning.  It was very intense and possibly the only moment during labor that I did experience pain.  I felt the urge to reach down and feel her head as she was crowning.  Instinctively I needed to let my body and my brain make the connection that this intense feeling was accomplishing something powerful. That this last lap of my marathon was getting me to the finish line. A feeling I still can't put into words well, but one I will never forget.  
And, can we just look at the amazing image Erin captured of that moment.  God's beautiful design for birth is beyond comprehension. 



6:21-I try to take my time as her head comes out. Dr. Teri tells me to take it slow.  I instinctively move from laboring on my knees to propping one leg up once her shoulders are out. 


Immediately as she's (we didn't know she was a 'she' then) born, I reach down to grab her.  Dr. Teri assists and she realizes that the cord is wrapped around the neck two times.  And, as Dr. Teri says: if the cord is wrapped around their neck, you just simply unwrap it.  I remember wanting to pull the baby up to my chest so quickly, but having to slow down to let her untangle the cord first.  



And, then...the Pause.  Those few minutes where a new mom needs to come down from LaborLand.  It's one of the most transformative, intimate moments, especially when they aren't rushed allowing for Mom to revel in her accomplishment and immediately start bonding with her baby.  During this sacred time, Dr. Teri is able to start assessing baby (yes, while I hold the baby-no need to whisk baby away) and give me and my baby the time we both need.  For about 5 minutes, I just hold baby close and take my time trying to soak it in and come back to myself. 






The gender of the baby isn't even on my mind.  Eventually as the birth high haze starts to lift, I know it's time to see if it is a He or She.  I tell Cooper to get all the boys in the room so we could share this moment as a family.  I lean the baby down just enough, and have to do a double take.  My brain and my mouth couldn't coordinate.  After a few moments of suspense, I am somehow able to blurt out that it's a girl.  


Below is one of my favorite photos...I love seeing the support and how it really does take a team you trust, especially when having a home birth.  The transfer from giving birth whether on the floor or in a birth pool to the bed is always a careful one.  Like a baby deer walking for the first time, I always feel a bit wobbly when getting up and need all hands on deck to move me and that baby safely. 
Once I transfer to the bed, Rebekah checks my pulse and Dr. Teri checks me and I prepare to deliver the placenta. We realize my blood pressure is low, and so they send Cooper to the kitchen to find me a high-sugar drink.  Luckily, the day before, Potter received a birthday goodie bag from a friend and it had a Capri Sun inside.  I chugged it down, and my blood pressure jumped back up.  Glory doesn't leave my chest during any of this. 
 After four children, I've realized how important immediate skin-to-skin with baby is, for both Mom and baby.  It's one thing I tell moms-to-be they should insist on regardless on how they birth.  Whisking baby away to a warmer or even into a swaddle is in no way a substitute for being close to Mom.  It's the best way to bring baby's blood sugar up, for baby to start nursing well, and for Mom to begin bonding with baby (which helps both immediately postpartum and in the long run).



Glory starts to nurse.  Babies' instinct to start rooting just minutes after birth will never cease to amaze me. 





The children come and go, playing with one another in between checking in on baby sister. Estes plants himself next to me on the bed, just leaving momentarily to color Glory a picture.
I do require a few stitches and nurse Glory while Dr. Teri works.  Needing stitches was one thing I had to give myself a lot of grace about in the weeks after having Glory.  I had read so much about physiological birth, breathing through contractions, and really trying to learn how the body opens up when delivering a baby. So, when I learned I tore some, I was so disappointed.  I've since let it go, but it is amazing how one can get so fixated on something so small and let it cloud so much of the beauty in front of them. 






Estes' note for Glory.  It's now in her baby book.

Cooper is by my side, just leaving me momentarily to make me eggs, toast and fruit.  I alternate between happy tears and giggly laughs, reveling in the fact that I have a baby girl and still coming down from my birth high.






Over an hour after I've delivered Glory, it's only now time to cut the umbilical cord.  I love how this moment isn't rushed, and it gives the cord more than enough time to give all its goodness to baby.  Potter (my 7-year old) asked to cut the cord, so we happily obliged.  Everyone has a part in measuring and weighing Glory as well.  At 8 lbs, 13 oz, she is my biggest baby by far! 







An herbal bath refreshes, relaxes, and help heal after labor.  While we get the bath ready, Dad gets some skin-to-skin time with Glory (and Estes by her side once again).



The herbal bath is an actual mixture of tea leaves that you steep, strain, and add to the bath water intended to help you begin healing after birth. For me, it's one of my favorite moments after delivery to connect with baby (and get a good look at her again).  For baby, the warm water helps them feel like they're in the womb again.  


My mom and sister show up, both in complete shock that there's finally a girl in the family.  


I'm helped getting out of the tub and making it to the bed.  Rebekah checks Glory's heartbeat again and checks me.  Cooper feeds me more breakfast, and the boys continually steal glimpses of their new sister.  It's beautiful and calm and peaceful.  Glory is right on my chest once more, and stays there for the next few days to come.  



Dr. Teri goes over what to expect over the next few days until she returns to my house for my first post-partum visit.  


As our birth team leaves, Cooper's family arrives and Erin snaps a few photos with them.  They also bring me a chopped brisket BBQ sandwich...which is always my post-birth meal of choice.  

After I eat and all the visitors head back to their homes, it's just us settling into our new identity as a family of six.  Learning our new normal, and reveling in all the answered prayers that have unveiled in the birth of Glory.  


"Praise be to His glorious name forever; may the whole earth be filled with His glory. Amen and amen."
-Psalms 72:19